


To Tell You the Truth

by dontlietomehoney



Category: Marianas Trench
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-26
Updated: 2014-01-26
Packaged: 2018-01-10 02:50:53
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,916
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1153879
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dontlietomehoney/pseuds/dontlietomehoney
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Josh has been unusually quiet lately, and Matt is concerned. When he tries to get to the bottom of it, Josh gets scared, but he tells Matt what he has been struggling to tell him for a long time.</p>
            </blockquote>





	To Tell You the Truth

**Author's Note:**

> This was my very first fic I ever wrote, so I am sorry if it is bad, but please enjoy if you read it.

“Hey Josh,” Matt called to his best friend who was seated across the room.

 

Josh simply glanced over and nodded. There was no trace of a smile on his face, his sharp blue eyes slightly dimmer than usual and Matt was worried. Josh was usually lively, singing old and new lyrics at every hour in the day. Okay, Matt admitted that his best friend wasn’t always talking or singing or just being loud in general, but even then Josh wasn’t as quiet as he had been for the last couple of hours.

 

Matt had had enough; he needed to figure out what was bothering his best friend so he stood to do just that. His sudden movement caused Josh to look at him once again and his gaze stayed with Matt as he moved closer, wary of what his friend was doing and yet still not making a sound. Matt didn’t speak either, not at first, as he sat down beside Josh on the small couch, their thighs wedged together and shoulders brushing.

           

“Are you going to tell me what’s going on?” Matt asked as his eyes were trained on the television that had been set on mute.

 

Josh was still watching him as he shrugged. He pulled his feet up, his legs held close to his chest before finally looking away. Matt took the chance to watch his friend again. Josh was pale with dark circles under his eyes. _He’s been losing sleep again, damn insomniac doesn’t want to say what’s bothering him._ Matt sighed aloud before turning to face Josh fully.

 

“What?” Josh’s voice was soft as he said his first word in hours.

           

Matt teased, “So you do have a voice,” before he realized it was the wrong thing to do.

           

Josh frowned at him before pulling his hood up and over his black and silver hair, his shoulders slumping forward. He was fully enclosed in himself despite being so close to his friend.  Matt could see the chipped paint on his friend’s fingernails and reached out to grab his hand. Josh jumped but didn’t pull away.

 

“You’ll need to paint these again soon.”

           

“Yeah…what do you care?” Josh still wouldn’t look at Matt again.

 

“I’m sorry,” Matt said, dropping Josh’s hand which was quickly retracted and held close to his chest, wedged between the striped hoodie and his knees.

 

Josh briefly peeked out at Matt from his hood before looking away again. “For what?”

 

“I don’t know, maybe I said something, or did something. Obviously it’s me that has you so quiet, I just don’t know why. So I must have done something.” Matt was beginning to get frustrated.

 

Josh huddled in on himself even more, if that was possible, “It’s not you Matty.”

 

The nickname made Matt pause, Josh hadn’t used it in years thinking they were too old for such things. “What is it then Joshy?”

           

Josh looked at him then, his blue eyes glued to Matt’s brown ones. His lips parted to speak when they were interrupted by a knock on the door. They both jumped and Matt cursed under his breath as he stood to answer the intruder. Turning around he looked at Josh whose eyes were wide, his lips still parted as if waiting to speak but frozen in the moment. Matt didn’t want to leave his friend’s side but rushed to the door as whoever was there knocked again.

 

“What?” Matt asked roughly as he opened the door.

 

Ian and Mike stood on his porch, their conversation halted by the harsh tone of Matt’s voice. Matt paused at the sight of them.

 

“What are you guys doing here?” Matt asked.

 

Ian scoffed, “Wow, such manners today, man. We just came to hang out and we figured Ramsay would be here too since he didn’t answer his own door when we went by to pick him up? Josh is here right?”

 

Matt nodded, “Yeah we were just talking…Or I was talking anyways.”

 

Mike’s brows drew together, “Is everything alright?”

 

“I don’t know, I was trying to get to the bottom of it when you guys showed up, hence the rude greeting,” Matt said pointedly.

 

Ian took a step back, concern in his eyes, “Do you want us to come in or give you some space?”

 

Matt was relieved, “A little space would be cool, thanks.”

 

“No problem man, give us a call when everything is all worked out and we’ll swing by again,” Mike patted Matt on the shoulder as he and Ian turned away.

 

Matt quickly closed the door and made his way back to the living room only to find it empty. “Josh?”

 

He didn’t hear an answer. Moving through the room Matt made his way to the kitchen, hoping that maybe his friend had gone in search for a Coke Zero. Again he was met by an empty space, the dishes from the morning still in their rightful place in the sink. As Matt went in search again he was about to check the bathroom closest to his own room when he heard something come from behind his closed door. He moved closer and heard the sound again, a muffled sob.

 

Worried Matt quickly opened the door and found Josh. He was sitting much like he had been on the couch, legs pulled tight to his chest and his arms in close. The hood was still up, the black and white contrasting with the bright colors of Matt’s walls. Josh sobbed again, his head buried in his knees, not noticing that Matt had found him.

 

Matt moved to his friend’s side, sitting down before touching his shoulder. The contact seemed to trigger Josh into movement though. His head jerking up, Josh let out a small gasp and quickly retreated. His red converse pushed him into a corner where he tried to wipe away the tears that rapidly fell from his eyes.

 

“I’m s-sorry, I didn’t w-want you to see me like this,” Josh stuttered.

 

Matt tried to move closer again, “What happened while I was gone? I only checked the door for a few minutes.”

 

Josh covered his face with his hands, “I don’t kn-know. I guess I was s-scared.”

 

“Of what, Joshy?”

 

“Of telling you the t-truth.”

 

Matt risked reaching out to his friend again, placing his hand on the knee nearest him, the black jeans soft against his fingers. Josh didn’t move, he only sobbed harder. Matt moved in again, wrapping his arms around the taller man.

 

“Hey, hey now. You can tell me anything. You know that.”

 

Josh shook his head against his friend’s chest, having fallen into the much needed hug. “N-not this….you’ll h-hate me, never want to see me again.”

 

“What are you talking about? You are my best friend Josh, I’m not gonna let anything take you away from me. You hear me?”

 

Josh stayed in his friend’s arms, still too scared of what he wanted to say, not wanting to ruin what they had together with his stupid emotions. _Why do I have to be such a fuck up all the time?_

 

“Are you going to tell me what’s going on?” Matt asked sometime later.

 

Josh’s tears had stopped but he was still shaking. He closed his eyes tight before raising his head from his best friend’s chest and looking into the brown eyes he knew so well. They were so close… Tears began to build up again.

 

Matt saw the wetness return to his friend’s eyes and felt helpless. “Don’t cry, honey, please. I hate to see you so hurt. Please just tell me what’s going on.”

 

Josh didn’t know what to do, especially when Matt leaned in closer, bumping their foreheads together. Without thinking Josh leaned forward, pushing his lips onto Matt’s and pulling back just as quickly as the kiss had happened.

 

Josh gasped in surprise at himself, at what he had done. _I’ve ruined everything…_ “I-I’m so sorry Matt! I d-don’t know what I was thinking, I didn’t m-mean…. Oh, God.”

 

Matt hadn’t moved, his eyes wide in shock until he saw his friend break down again. Josh had folded in, smaller than before and keeping his face hidden, small sobs racking his body. Matt was still close to him, arms still wrapped around his friend’s shoulders.

 

“Is that what you wanted to tell me?” Matt asked.

 

Josh hiccupped as he looked into Matt’s eyes again and nodded. Matt stayed quiet for a moment, just looking at his friend’s features, his red rimmed eyes, wet cheeks, and his teeth worrying his bottom lip. Matt could see the pain in his friend’s eyes and it seemed now that Josh was unable to look away. Matt wasn’t sure what to say. _Is this for real?_

“I’m sorry,” Josh said again, his voice a whisper.

 

Another tear escaped the side of Josh’s eye and Matt lifted his hand to wipe it away. Josh squeezed his eyes shut but couldn’t stop himself from leaning into the touch.

 

Finally Matt spoke up, “Josh, look at me. Please?”

 

Josh complied, the softly spoken words pulling at him. When he opened his eyes Matt was right there, his brown eyes seeming to melt away the fear that Josh still had. His breathing hitched and he wasn’t sure of what to do. Matt again brought their foreheads together as he sighed.

 

“You idiot…” Matt said quietly.

 

Josh winced, “You do hate me.”

 

“No,” Matt’s reply was fast, stern. “You are an idiot, a damn beautiful idiot. I don’t hate you. I could never hate you.”

 

“What? Really? I-I don’t understand.” Josh looked to his friend for direction, not knowing what to do next.

 

Matt laughed softly. “I love you, Joshy. Always have.”

 

Josh was shocked to find honesty in the brown eyes so close to his own.

 

“I’m _in love_ with you,” Matt said.

 

“You are?”

           

“Yeah,” Matt’s words were spoken on a sigh, “I’ve been waiting for you for so long Joshy.”

 

“I love you too,” Josh whispered, “I love you so much. Why didn’t you ever tell me how you felt?”

 

Matt laughed, “Why didn’t you?”

 

Josh let out a squeak, “I just did!”

 

Matt’s teasing smile turned serious. He was still holding on to his best friend. One hand was still around the taller man’s shoulders while the other moved to push away the hood that covered Josh’s hair. Moving away slightly Matt ran his fingers through the black and silver strands, feeling the softness there while his eyes searched his friend’s face for reluctance. There was none, Matt only found fear and hope.

 

“I know you did, and I love you for it all the more, honey.” Matt leaned close again and brought his their lips together for the second time.

 

Josh sighed against Matt’s lips, relaxing into the embrace. Timidly at first Josh moved to hold his friend back, his hands briefly landing on Matt’s waist before encircling it completely and pulling them closer together. Their chests brushed as their breathing grew heavier.

 

Matt was the first to pull away, his breath warm against Josh’s skin. “What do we do now?”

 

Josh laughed at that, “I’ve been wondering the same thing all day.”

 

Matt laughed too, “Well, I vote to say we get off my floor and move somewhere more comfortable.”

 

Josh smiled sheepishly, realizing that he had kept them on the floor for quite a while. “Sorry.”

 

Matt held him tighter, “Don’t say that, honey. Let’s just get up.”

 

Josh giggled and ducked his head into Matt’s shoulder, “I already am.”

 

Matt’s eyes widened at that and he stood abruptly, pulling Josh along with him. The taller man was surprised by the swift movement but was quickly distracted when Matt’s lips landed on his again, the shorter man’s tongue running along the seam of his mouth. Josh opened to him, moaning softly as Matt slipped into his mouth, delving deep before pulling out.

 

“I’d better fix that then,” Matt’s chocolate eyes were on fire.

 

“Right now?” Josh’s head was spinning with how quickly things were moving.

 

Matt chuckled wickedly, “Baby, I’ve been waiting to have you for years, I’m not worried about a first date unless you are.”

 

Josh’s answer was to unzip the black and white hoodie and drop it to the floor. Matt smiled, moving forward until he was able to lead Josh to the edge of his bed. The taller man sat down hard as Matt stood before him, pausing a moment before pulling his shirt off over his head to join Josh’s hoodie. Josh did the same and they were both bare from the waist up.

 

“Lie back,” Matt told him.

 

Josh complied, scooting to the middle of the bed and waiting. Matt began unlacing his friend’s shoes and quickly removed the red converse as well as the socks beneath before popping the snap of his own jeans. Josh watched him closely, his breathing rapid as Matt began to crawl up the bed. He stopped to loosen the bright pink belt around Josh’s jeans before undoing the snap and zipper to reveal the boxers underneath. Slowly he pulled the black jeans down his friends legs and off completely.

 

Still wearing his own jeans Matt moved to straddle the man below him. “Are you sure you’re okay with this Joshy?”

 

Josh smiled up at the man that he loved, “I’m sure.”

 

Matt smiled back before leaning down to steal yet another kiss. He began to move his hips, feeling the hardness beneath him and gaining a moan from Josh. Matt moved away as he felt his friend begin to move as well, teasing him but also taking the time to remove his pants and briefs. Now fully naked Matt saw Josh’s eyes on him. Taking his friend’s hand he led it to the swollen flesh and let out a sigh as Josh’s fingers wrapped around him.

 

Matt allowed his hips to push forward slowly a few times before focusing again on removing the last item of clothing from his best friend.

 

“Oh my, Joshy, you’re quite the big boy aren’t you?”

 

Josh flushed, his already hot cheeks going bright red but he stayed quiet, still holding firmly to the hard flesh in his hand. Matt dipped down and trailed his tongue along the vain he found. Josh whimpered and his hips jolted forward.

 

“Matt!”

 

Matt smiled and pulled away from the hand that still held him. “I know honey. Almost. I need to get you ready.”

 

Josh nodded, his breathing coming in sharp gasps. Matt urged him onto his stomach and he jumped when he felt something cool against his entrance. Matt shushed him, one hand rubbing circles on the taller man’s back. Slowly he inserted a finger, working against the tightness he found there, loving the heat that enveloped the digit.

 

“More…please,” Josh sighed.

 

Matt smiled before pushing in a second finger and eventually a third. As he pushed deeper he felt the muscles tighten as Josh cried out, Matt having found his lover’s prostate. He rubbed the spot a few more times causing Josh to whimper and beg.

 

“Are you ready?” Matt asked, his own body taut and in need.

 

“Y-yes. Please Matty, please.”

 

Matt pulled his fingers free, the motion causing another cry to come from his lover’s throat, before he moved into position. Slowly Matt pushed inside, his hands gripped tight to Josh’s hips, and his own moan of pleasure escaping as the tight heat swallowed him. Once he was all the way in, his hips flush against Josh’s, he stopped. They were both panting now, Matt holding Josh firmly down to the mattress as he regained his breath. Matt could see Josh’s fingers gripping the pillows he had buried his head in.

 

“Are you doing alright?” Matt asked.

 

With a frustrated sigh Josh nodded and proved his point by thrusting backwards. “Don’t w-worry so much.”

 

Josh looked over his shoulder with a smirk, his blue eyes shining brighter than Matt had ever seen them. Letting out a chuckle Matt began to move, slowly at first before gaining speed. Josh moaned loudly, arching his back to meet each of Matt’s thrusts. Leaning forward Matt latched onto Josh’s shoulder with his teeth, his hips moving forcefully, urgently as he felt a tightness beginning in his belly.

 

When he finally hit Josh’s sweet spot again the taller man let out a scream, his words becoming garbled as Matt pushed against it again and again.

 

“M-matt, so close…don’t s-stop…” Josh panted.

 

Matt kissed the red mark his teeth had left before leaning close to Josh’s ear, “Come for me Joshy. Right now.”

 

Josh let out another cry as Matt pushed harder, his words coaxing the release into action. Matt could feel the muscles clenching around him and he gasped, marveling as the man below him began to shake.

 

“Matt!”

 

Hearing his own name tumble from his lover’s lips pushed Matt over the edge, his own body releasing. He held tight to Josh, whispering into his ear until exhaustion overtook him. Matt rolled them onto their sides, arms wrapped around his lover. Josh turned though wanting to look into Matt’s eyes.

 

“I’m sorry I broke down before,” he whispered.

 

Matt brushed the damp hair away from Josh’s forehead and kissed him. “Stop apologizing honey, I’m definitely not sorry about the way things turned out.”

 

Josh smiled and curled into his friend’s side, “I love you, Matty.”

 

Matt held the taller man close, “I love you too, Joshy.”


End file.
